The Experience

The wind blows occasionally
Shakes the ground to still
Movement is felt subjectively
as no movement
As I walk standing on
this earth, a treadmill.
I tried, I really tried
To touch you
To show you
That I too exist
That I too feel
That I too love
That I too hear
the rubbing of a gear
against a bicycle chain
But an apparition I remain
Can be seen from far
Identified as a one,
But approached from near
I am as invisible
As a horse's fin

But then it is true
I remember now
I had died
I had died living
I had died living in a dream
And this is still that.
That dream never ended
I never woke
And though I felt
I sloughed my skin
And got rid of miseries
And survival and pain
I knew I fooled myself
And I fool myself
Even still

For however hard I've tried
I know myself still not
And as simple as you thought
By defining what I am not
I have become that.